The State of the Union

Controversy has struck the capital yet again as activist Anna Hazare was publicly arrested on the mere grounds that he broke the law. A shocked Anna said, “People who ignore the law to achieve their ends are not supposed to be arrested”; creating ripples in the media. “But isn’t that what your campaign was all about?” asked a visibly perplexed (more than usual) NDTV reporter. “Exactly”, replied Anna mysteriously.

Thousands gathered in protest in Connaught Place (Anna was being held at Civil Lines) , shouting slogans and waving banners. I saw a man energetically working a mob into a frenzy and asked him, “Do you think this will get Anna out of jail?”. He fixed me with a stare and asked me, “Anna is in jail?!”. I affirmed this news and walked on, reflecting on the state of the union.

The Diary of Anna Hazare

I walked into Tihar with a good deal of trepidation.  As I was being escorted to my cell, I tried bribing several officers but was pleasantly surprised when none of them took up my offer. Perhaps there is hope after all. I was greeted at my barred and walled destination by a man who has been a huge inspiration in my life, and a driving force behind my recent struggles. I could hardly believe my eyes – indeed, I wiped my glasses- that I was looking upon the one and only Suresh Kalmadi. That I was sharing a cell with him took a few minutes to sink in. After I settled in and pasted several pictures of food items on the wall, he finally spoke. Our conversation ran thus;

SK: So...Who are you ? 

AH: Ha, you obviously don’t have TV access like they claim you do.

SK: They make me watch Commonwealth Games reruns. You don’t look like an athlete... (He narrowed his eyes at me)

AH: My name is Anna Hazare (I adjusted my glasses stylishly)

At this point, a demented look really did come on to the man’s face. 

SK: 16 Annas make a Rupee. A thousand Annas then, are about 60 Rupees. I’m sure my accountant can make that look like Rs. 432 crores... 

AH: Sir, I am not a coin. And your corrupt ways are a disgrace to India. The west laughs at us ! It is the reason I shall fast unto death !

Loath as  I was to lose my cool, I still did not expect Kalmadi to laugh at my outburst in a paternal manner.

SK: My dear Anna, what is common between hygiene and corruption ? 

AH: What? I don’t see the connection... (And I wiped my glasses just to make sure)

SK: For someone who likes to fast, you’re kinda slow. The west, you see, have different standards of corruption

AH: Can I have a cup of tea please?